Friend In My D&D Group Publicly Outed Me On Facebook Used His Autism As His Excuse r/Relationships


Relationship Reddit Stories, OP tries to pull up his friend’s bad behaviour at their group D&D sessions and is met with staunch resistence from them, culminating in them being attacked in a purely bigoted way online and outting them publicly.

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00:00 Intro
00:15 Story 1
06:46 Story 1 Update
10:05 Story 2
15:38 Story 2 Update

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30 thoughts on “Friend In My D&D Group Publicly Outed Me On Facebook Used His Autism As His Excuse r/Relationships”

  1. Stry 1. I feel bad for the ex gf.
    Stry 2. Cut off the I'm laws. They have proven that they do not value your feelings or want you in their life. They just want the kids. Cut them off. For both your safety and the kids.

  2. I play d&d for quite some time now and I have aspergers, autism is NOT an excuse for this guys shitty behaviour!!! Hes just a crappy person, nothing more, nothing less! Good that he was kicked out, jeez this got under my skin

  3. In the 2nd story opies not the idiot and the grandparents crossed a huge line I do not care if they were grieving or not but you never use a death of a loved one to manipulate someone to stay you never guilt someone by saying what would your partner who is deceased think of your actions that is manipulative and horrible. And there's no excuse for this kind of behavior in the 21st century where you could literally facetime them every fucking day. Let's help me in my grandma stating contact for so long before her untimely demise We just video chatted and called whenever I couldn't see her in person

  4. so as someone with autisim the problem player is not doing this crap due to autisim. autisim may be a spectrum and manifest in multiple ways, but even lower functioning people would never do that stuff. we still understand right from wrong. The social aspects like him being on his phone at innapropriate times or interrupting others is something autistic people do as many of us struggle with social and communication skills and impulse control. But its mostly due to the fact that our brains never developed properly and thus there are malfunctions, And the hentai could be hyperfixation which is part of autisim, but the way its displayed doesn't line up. However him retaliating and outing others is not a product of autistic behavior. Nah dude is just an asshole. Autisim has no part in this even if he has it

  5. 1st story…sore loser.
    You play a game to relax and have fun, play with friends.
    Doesn't matter what issues (medical, mental or personal) that player has.
    And no one likes a bad sport.
    If that person is ruining the game, your life, whatever…
    That person would be gone, quicker than 1 single heartbeat.
    No apologies, No remorse and No mercy.
    Done and over with.
    Anyone tries to defend that player can be "gone" just as easily.
    You…just be done with all the nonsense.

  6. S2: NTA. OP has her parents who want o be grandparents too. Husband’s parents had exclusive access to the grandkids. Maybe her parents want to see them too, and I’d want my actual family too.

  7. I'm in two minds about story 2; on one hand, that was such a shitty thing for the grandparents to do, but on the other, I can understand a degree of desperation because really, you've seen these kids nearly every day for four and six years and at their age and given how expensive getting to and from Australia would be, it must have felt like they were saying goodbye on their death bed. It DOES NOT make what they did right, but I can sympathise.

  8. Kick him out. That behavior is inappropriate. If he cannot change he needs to go. It would not even matter if it was the disability but that is not autism.

  9. Autism isn't what caused the guy to be watching animated little girl…adult stuff. It was obvious he was a bad person just from that, this group has very little discernment if they thought that behavior was just innocent autism misunderstandings and invited him to join the friend group in the first place knowing he has that hobby.

  10. Story 2: even before the update I disagreed with the NAH comments. The grandparents were grieving, yes, but throwing how "disappointed" their son would be for OP to move and stating "how DARE OP take away THEY'RE grandchildren" was not okay. And what does it say about the grandparents and their relationship with OP that they see their grandkids nearly every day, but OP feels like an international move while pregnant with 2 small kids would be better for her than leaning on her in-laws for support? Her oldest child is 6, she's had years to build a relationship with them, but she feels moving back to her home country would be better for her and the kids. I think that says a lot right there, and then the update happened and I'm like "Yeah, I'm not surprised." Those people heard OP say she's moving because she needs more support, and their reaction was not "how can we support you better as you're now a single parent of 2 with a baby on the way while grieving a loss?" It was "we're going to declare you mentally unstable and take your children." I'd move away from that too.

  11. That's a problem person. Absolutely inexcusable. He's purposely exposing you to bigotry and violence. There's no valid justification for that, let alone just being called out for earlier misbehavior. I would not forgive him.

    If he's "like a brother" get better brothers, for your own safety and sanity.

  12. Yeh Autism is not an excuse for fowl behaviour it sounds like he gets of on making people uncomfortable my husband is on the spectrum and he would never behave like that.

  13. Not the A hole sure its rough on your late husbands parents but of course you want to be In your home country with your family supporting you they can video call the children and you can visit its just the greef talking.

  14. S1 last update ,your former friend has just got a lot of trouble in his plate ,because if he continues with his behaviour towards others in prison he is going to be beat up ,used as a bitch by bigger inmates and could even be isolated from the rest of the inmates once they find out exactly what he is in for as most inmates respect women and a persons right to decide how they live their lives as individuals.He has just gotten a major problem with other inmates and I seriously hope that they can sort him out without causing permanent damage to his body and reputation as a human being.NTA

  15. Story 1: Well, I'm only an "Asperger's-Class" autist but guys like him give autists and aspergers a bad reputation. I'm aware that autism can manifest differentely in different people and maybe loosing a unit really makes him feel desperate but that's still no excuse. Not to mention all the stuff afterwards that isn't even a "reflex" reaction but just seems assholish and planned.
    Going scorched earth on everyone including oneself can be an autism thing, though, at least in the heat of the moment..

  16. Story 2. To be honest I don't blame the grandparents on what they did. Losing their son, then going from caring for the grandchildren most of the week to losing them as well. People said it is the same for her parents, but she decided to have the children where she did. I think there is more to this than meets the eye.

  17. Story 1. OP NTA. You handled problem player the correct way by taking him aside and talking to him and reminding him of the rules. Just because he is autistic, doesn't mean he gets to behave like he does and ruin the fun for everyone else. It also sounds like he was warned multiple times before this happened. His outings you because he got mad, was dangerous for you and you had severe consequences. "problem" player losing his gf wasn't shocking but what was is his posting her pics. His trying to get the group ban was childish and I am glad the higher ups saw through him. Glad "problem" player now is in jail. Remember it was none of your fault. It was his chooses and his actions. So sorry for what your going through. Parts of me think you should sue him cuz had he not done that, you wouldnt have been disowned or at least the distress your going through.

  18. Story 2 OP NTA and grandparents are only YTA after they showed their true colors.
    I get losing their son and then their grandchildren going to a different country wouldn't make the 100% happy but the way they behaved wasn't ok. Glad OP didnt need cops. Glad OP's and kids are safely in Switzerland and close to their other set of grandparents. OP, when you let the kids. Talk with the in laws, you need to be aware cuz you dont want them to brainwash you kids

  19. 1st Story
    NTA
    Sue him ASAP safe every & harassing messages.
    Lost of loved family members; yes u most likely would have lost them anyways but u could have mentally & physically prepared for the heartache w an therapist (go to therapy now) sue him for that bill as well. Text him an ask him out right….
    How could u make me a target to anyone who's seen that post & want to do a little gay bashing, Ask why would he put ur life in danger in such a way as betray me when I've never been anything but respectful to u why would u do this to me? Get a text confession.

  20. So why use autistic in the headline other than clickbait when the guy's clearly just a grade-a dickhead, nothing to do with autism.

    -Sincerely, an autistic person who is not an asshole, and would never use it as an excuse to be an asshole

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